About a year ago I had finally decided what graduate degree I wanted to pursue. Deciding on an MSW (master of social work) was more a matter of process of elimination then anything else. I didn't want to jump right into a PhD. Until I truly developed a passion for something I decided that that was just a bit out of my reach. I'm glad I was able to have enough foresight for that. Choosing to pursue a master's degree instead of a PhD narrowed down my options considerably.
In August of 2010 I volunteered at a camp for chronically ill children. These children came with their families from all over the eastern half of the United States for a "worry-free" weekend. I was able to spend time with these people. I loved listening to their stories. Because of this experience I began to pursue ways in which I could develop a career around working with the families of chronically and terminally ill patients. Cue social work...
When people hear "social work" they immediately jump to an image of someone pulling abused children out of crack houses. While this is accurate, it is very limiting in terms of the vastness that is social work. Social workers are everywhere. The only thing guaranteed about social work is that you will never make "good money".
I never cared about the money. When I discovered social work as an option I was just relieved to have found something viable that I could sink my teeth into. Here was a career path where a PhD wasn't necessary. A degree that several universities in Georgia had. And a program that had reasonable admissions requirements that I was hopeful I would be able to meet. Jack pot.
To say I didn't reflect and seriously consider "is this what I want to do with my life" would be a lie. I did. I thought about it a lot. And I was sure that I could be happy going down this path. The problem was, and I obviously didn't know this at the time, that I didn't consider the possibility that I wouldn't have the motivation to get through the difficulty of the graduate school program.
So when I attended my first class on August 15th... I was shocked to realize I did NOT want to do this. Not at all. Yes, I would like to work in this field. No, I did not want to bad enough to go through the pain and suffering that would definitely accompany the years of graduate school that I had ahead of me. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was shocked. A day later (August 16th) while I was still attending my classes I realized that I had already decided that I was going to drop out. I felt like a person attending classes that were someone else's and that did not apply to me. I think that says a lot.
So as someone who has never, ever allowed my heart to make any serious decisions about things like this... I dropped out of graduate school while my brain screamed "logical" objections in my head.
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